Here's where we stand

45,033.

Need 4,977 in the next 23 hours and 3 minutes.

Am I worried? Nah. I've got more than enough story to get myself through it. The overachiever in me is beating myself on the head.
"You should have been done DAYS ago!"
"Why couldn't you just have plugged a little harder and actually wrapped up the story this month?"

But then I remember that, 29 days ago, I didn't have any of these words, and the fact that I've come so far and still have much more to go is pretty awesome. I am writing a story that I am really happy with, with characters that I've come to love (and in some cases, despise). I have more-or-less maintained a normal life through all of this, my adjusted sleep schedule notwithstanding.

More than that, though, I've learned a few things that I hope to take with me long after I've caught up on my sleep.

- I really do have more time than I think I do; it's all in how I use it. I am extremely blessed to have so much time on my hands - I know a lot of people would kill to have my kind of time. I really do just lack discipline. If I set my mind to it, I could be friggin unstoppable!

- I really can do anything. "Finish a novel" has been on my "lifetime goal" list, meaning, I didn't anticipate actually doing that until I was much older, if at all. Granted, I have not yet actually *finished* the novel, so I could still fall flat on my face. But I have a good feeling about this one. Roselyn, Edmund and Dante are going to be screaming in my brain until I finish their story. But if I can do this, what so many people will never do - what can't I do? I could probably even do something crazy like learn algebra! (Ok, let's not get carried away with, folks.)

- I'm better than I think I am. I tend to have this 'all or nothing' mentality, with a self-deprecating "not good enough" tipping many things into nothing. That's pretty frustrating, when 'all or nothing' always turns into 'nothing' because I don't believe I'm good enough for 'all'. But I'm better than I think I am. If I can just hang onto that...then I really can do point number two. :P

So...yeah. Here's to a great month. Here's to 50k by tomorrow at the stroke of 12.